Disappointments come in all sizes. While you might be sad you didn’t get that dream job you applied for, your neighbor just learned that her only child is moving to another country. The ups and downs of life are guaranteed. Life happens.
There is the right way to deal with disappointment and whether it is minor or life-threatening, God cares. He wants you ultimately to give it to Him and allow His love to restore you to wholeness.
Preconceived Expectations
Pity the husband who is married to an obsessive romantic. She has conjured up in her mind what the perfect husband should be like and if he doesn’t remember their secret song, a favorite restaurant, or a special flower, she melts into a puddle of pain. Preconceived expectations.
Pity the parents who have mapped out their son’s life, college, and career only to learn that he skipped town with a truckload of dropouts.
Some of our disappointments are self-induced. No one is perfect. The expectations we put upon people sometimes are unrealistic. Let’s get real. Everybody needs deodorant. That should be a clue that they’re not angels in disguise.
Who’s Your Source?
Disappointment sometimes comes when we depend on people instead of looking to God. Ps. 62:5 says, “My expectation comes from God…”
I learned this personally in February 1990 as I was preparing for a National Women’s Retreat. In our bedroom, I asked Tommy to pray one of his powerful prayers of blessing over me, but he was packing up for a hunting trip. I whined a little, so he prayed a pitiful, powerless “God bless you” prayer. Then, he kissed me good-bye and went to find Bambi. I was so disappointed. I was hurt. I was mad. I wanted my blessing! As I grumbled to the Lord about him, He interrupted and said, ”I allowed this to happen so you wouldn’t look to Tommy for a blessing. I am your Source. You must look to Me.” I quickly repented and looked to God to be blessed. Within minutes, our almost 4-year-old son walked in and, without any warning, slapped his hand boldly on the back saying, “I bless you in the mighty name of Jesus!” It was if the Father looked over heaven’s balcony and winked.
Don’t Lick Your Wounds
When disappointments come, it’s easy to dwell on them. It’s so easy to rehearse the injustice over and over and over. You’ll never grow past your pain if you do that. I’m reminded of a grumpy lady whose children had not lived up to her expectations. After counseling her for months, I asked the Lord why she couldn’t seem to get healed. His answer came abruptly, “She likes to lick her wounds.” Face it, friend. Life’s not fair, but God is good.
Your Disappointment Can Become God’s Appointment
God’s ways are so amazing. If you can genuinely give your disappointment to Him, a process of restoration will begin. He promises to exchange your “beauty for ashes, a spirit of praise for heaviness…” Is. 61:3 Start today. Give God your disappointment and watch Him turn it around into something good. How does He do it? I don’t have a clue, but I’ve never seen Him miss an appointment with those who make a reservation.
The Antidote
Gratitude is the antidote for disappointment. Try to make a list of things you’re grateful for. Two of the many scriptures that instruct us how to be grateful are “Whatever things are lovely…and a good report, think on these things.” Ph. 4:8 and “By Him, therefore, let us offer a sacrifice of praise, even the fruit of our lips, giving thanks unto His name.” Heb. 13:15
A friend of mine was having a difficult time practicing this one evening. Her husband had left her with no notice, no money, and three young children. Within twenty minutes, her hopes for a happy home and bright future had dissolved. At that moment of despair, she really couldn’t even think of anything to be grateful for. “I will never leave you or forsake you,” whispered the Holy Spirit. The reality of His Presence flooded her. “God, You’re with me. You’ll never leave me. I am not alone. Thank You! Thank You, Lord, for Your presence.” Gratitude began a much-needed focus for her difficult months ahead, but today she is a business owner with three godly teenagers.
God’s Promise
Dear disappointed one, let this precious promise restore hope in you today. “And we know ALL things work together for good to those who love the Lord…” Romans 8:28 Do you believe that? If so, your best days are ahead.
